Today was a long day. I had to carry a 5 pound bag of paper to Bronxville, NY from my home in Jersey City.
I got up there, I turned in my MA Thesis, and I got back on the train to go home. During rush hour.
One of the reasons I hate living in New York City is because of the anonymity, and the way in which those of us have trained ourselves to only fend for one person- ME.
So there I am on the crowded 4 train, and my left shoulder is aching. I can’t lift my arm, and I have to cling to the pole, so i decide to get off at 14th street instead of going all the way down to World Trade Center in order to get the PATH train.
I toddled down the street, narrowly avoiding getting hit by two wheelchairs, and I got on the PATH train.
What happens next happens all the time, it’s just that today was a particularly bad pain day, and I finally got fed up.
So here’s the deal, New York & New Jersey. Those seats labeled “priority seating”? the ones where it said “for persons with disabilities” below it? THAT SEAT IS FOR ME.
Today I felt my shoulder pop because of a turn on the train, my left shoulder searing in pain. I nearly fell. The woman sitting in front of me GAVE ME EYE CONTACT and then she went back to sleep. I could have kicked her. I could have screamed. I SHOULD have screamed.
I am so tired of people acknowledging the blind woman flopping around on the train and not letting me sit down. I know your purse is heavy, but the likelihood of me falling down on my face is far higher than yours.
Whenever I complain about it, people tell me I should speak up. But what am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to quietly say “Excuse me, I’m disabled, could you let me sit down?” What if she says no? What if I then have to stand there fuming while I wait for my stop? But on the other hand, what if I fall? I’ve done it before. It could happen again.
Please, NYC. Find your compassion. I’m tired of getting the glances. The guilty faces that say ‘I should get up, but I won’t.’.
Just let me sit down. I hate days where my shoulder hurts so bad I can’t do much more than sit still.
Chances are I won’t sleep tonight.
Bet you will, lady. I bet you will.
It’s Krishna the blind ballet dancer from Harlem. Yo, fight for your seat. Some people genuinely don’t know that your cane means you can’t see. Tell ’em.
If ever you want to chill in Upper Manhattan, you have a friend here.
Oooo. We’re BOTH blind dancers?!
Yes! I am acquainted with another blind dancer here in NYC as well, whose name is Sarah. We are a small, talented group 🙂
Oh, and here’s a documentary about me.
http://www.whatworksdoc.org/7NewYorkStories/lijie.html
As somebody who rides the subway with my head in a book, my phone, or a book on my phone, I’d say that yes, you do have to ask for a seat to get one on a full train. New Yorkers believe the first rule of being polite is to not pay attention to other people. I have had people offer me seats when my prosthesis was visible, but I have a disability (BK leg amputation) that is as legible as my impairment is (usually) mild.
If you ask for a seat and somebody turns you down (it might be me! I look able-bodied) I would bet that somebody else will offer you a seat before you have to ask again, if only for the pleasure of making the 1st person look like a jerk.
Also – check out this conversation with Bill Shannon , who has some interesting ideas about claiming disability in public space. A student tells him that she’s upset that people give her the hairy eyeball for taking a disabled seat on the bus because they can’t see her pain. His advice is the “blow up” method — sprawl across all the disabled seats, theatricalize her pain.
I don’t know that I’d ever recommend doing the same thing, but Bill is a great provocateur, and his ideas are great to chew on.
I agree with the commenter above. As someone with low vision, I’ve found that most people need nudges. Definitely ask for the seat if you need it. Most people will give it up (gladly) and the few who won’t will end up getting stink-eye from everyone around them.
I’ve found that older people have no qualms about demanding seats. I think they’ve reached that awesome point of not caring what others think and then just demanding what they need. When I see those instances, I think about how I should embrace my inner “old person” and do the same thing.
I’m sorry you had a bad day. 🙁
I think sometimes it can be hard when you are the young looking person with a disability, too. I will often get the “Do you REALLY need the seat” interrogation.
Ugh, I just wrote a response, but forgot to answer the spam question, so it was erased. >_<
A shorter version–I'm young-looking too, and I think it's a paradox for most people to meet "abled"-appearing people who also have a disability, especially one that might rank "severe" to an abled-person. They have a hard time juggling those two sides of being capable and also being disabled.
From my experience, most want to make the good choice, and are embarrassed when they mess up. Most abled-people I meet are very afraid of assuming a disabled person's capability level. So offering guidance about how best to act is usually appreciated. It's tiring though to always be in "educate-mode" and to be a walking commercial for tolerance and understanding. It would be better if everyone could just "get it" without us prompting them, but most just don't understand or "see" the same things that we do because of their lack of experience and exposure. Hopefully with more guidance and knowledge, they'll understand more.
Keep fighting the good fight. 🙂