Running a feminist website frequently results in me being asked “How do you do it?”
People ask me how I manage to not just fall to the ground in frustration every day. Because yes, there’s so much to write about, every day, and I can’t keep up the pace of rage that would require me to write about it all.
I have to pick my battles, I have to choose what I write about. Is it possible for me to write about everything and not fall to pieces? No, it is not.
I cope by having my friends remind me to take self care. I cope by creating features like “Blind Lady Versus” and the “Livesnark Reviews”, both of which are a bit fluffier than the rest of the content that I produce for this site.
The other way in which I stay grounded is that I take care of my people. I’m open to listen to them when they need help, because the reality is, while I can’t fix the problems of the world. While I cannot fix the injustices that disabled people face, I can, and do help my friends. I can talk a friend through the difficulties of a divorce, I can hold a friend’s hand while she makes difficult choices, I can be a person to whom they can talk to.
I listen to other people, and their problems often ground me in the reality of what I can do with my hands, with my hugs, and with my heart. I cannot fix the accessibility problems of the world, but I can help my friends live in a better one.
And someday, I will start making those bigger changes. Someday I will start talking to power about what needs to change in our world.
But for now, those changes take place at the level where I can see them happening? Those are good things. Sometimes they are borne of harsh realities, but for my friends who walk through those changes, I’m there. Because helping them get to a better world gives me hope.
I take a breath. Stop screaming at the universe. And fix one thing, or listen to one person, so that I can continue the bigger fight.