I have just read yet another article on how women are getting sexually assaulted on college campuses because they drink. The conversation around rape, and the prevention of rape, is a wide ranging and sensitive one. Today, I’m choosing to focus just on this particular trend in the dialogue I’ve seen recently.

These articles have recently appeared in multiple publications, ranging from Slate to The Daily Campus at Southern Methodist University. They always lay the blame for the rape at the feet of college women who have been drinking. What really startles me is that all the articles I’ve read on the subject have been written by women.

Women have to stop blaming each other for rape.

It is the article by Kirbey Wiley which brings me to write about this topic.

If the media would focus more attention on the fact that the majority of the women who are sexually assaulted are intoxicated, as opposed to stating and restating how horrible the perpetrator is, then maybe young women would start to listen. – Kirby Wiley, The Daily Campus.

NO.

Just. No. I will not stop blaming the rapist. I will not stop blaming the person who makes a choice to rape. A woman, no matter what she has been taking, still has the right to say no. That word alone, must be respected.

What does “Drink Responsibly” mean to these people? If you’re a little drunk and your friend rapes you, is it your fault? If you’re 16 and trashed and a roomful of football players gang rapes you and posts pictures on the internet, is that your fault?

I don’t think it’s wrong to say that we should drink responsibly, because everyone should take care of themselves. Vomiting isn’t fun for anybody. Neither is blacking out. These are not fun ways to enjoy alcohol. Experimenting with alcohol in the safety of friends homes, is better than going to a party and getting trashed, at least that’s how I always saw it. However, not everyone enjoys the quiet drinking. Some people like going out.  That being said, getting drunk shouldn’t be punished with blame for rape.

You still get to say no. And if you’re passed out? No one should have sex with you.

The perpetrators ARE to blame. The people who rape ARE to blame, and we should continue saying that.

I think the reason why so many sexual assaults happen when young women are intoxicated has to do with the rapists believing that they won’t be called out for their actions. They won’t be held responsible, because of course, she was drunk.

Personal responsibility is not about WHY you got raped. Personal responsibility is about taking the blame for what you have done to another human being in this instance. Taking responsibility for ones actions is about taking responsibility for what you DO to another person while they are intoxicated, not how much she had to drink.

So, let’s stop it. Let’s stop this myth in its tracks.

Drink responsibly, have sex responsibly.

Don’t rape.