The book I’m about to read, Handle With Care by Jodi Picoult, is about a family with a disabled child.
I’m about to curl up with my nook and a giant mug of tea, and see what I can do about ripping this book to shreds.
Hope you enjoy it!
Nota Bene: I really appreciate everyone who is educating me on OI and what I’ve gotten wrong. If you want to read a review of the book from an OI perspective, you should go here: http://lisybabe.blogspot.co.uk/2011/02/spoiler-warning-handle-with-care-by.html
I’m definitely learning a lot from those of you who’ve tweeted at me to tell me more about OI than this book ever will, and I’d also just like to say that in doing this liveblog, my goal was to expose some of the severely problematic tropes writers use to tell stories about disability. I apologize in advance if I am wrong, and will continue to learn as much as I can.
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Okay, I am stopping at the end of this chapter. I have Things To Do.
“I liked you for dismissing your condition as the most important part of you”
I kind of wish, rather than asking Willow about useless facts, that the lawyer would actually ask Willow what her life is LIKE
Oh good, now we’re back to Marin’s search for her birth mother! Which means we get to read the guidelines for the letter that you can write to said parent.
MARIN CHAPTER!
Sean has joined the opposing counsel’s team.
This can’t POSSIBLY make things worse.
“I bet if I weren’t like this, if my bones weren;t messed up, you’d still be sleeping in your bed.”
yes. Children notice things. Perceptive little people!
Sean drives to Marin Gates’ house (remember, the lawyer lady?)
“I’m unlisted. How did you find out where I live?”
I shrugged “I’m a cop”
“That’s an invasion of privacy-”
AND ILLEGAL AS FUCK. AND EXTREMELY DAMN CREEPTASTICAL.
Oh good. THe wrongful birth suit made the FRONT COVER of their local newspaper!
Sean Chapter!
reading about Charlotte rationalizing the wrongful birth suit to her daughter just… ugh
“A martyr”, Sean corrected “No one’s ever as good as you when it comes to taking care of Willow. You don’t trust anyone else to get it right. Don’t you see how fucked up that is?”
Look at that. Someone calling Charlotte out.
Also, uh, are we STILL arguing about whether or not there should be a trial. Page 171 of 389 here.
“But if we were,” {desperate enough to eat people} you said “I’d be boneless.”
OH MY GOD. WAS THAT CRIP HUMOR? WAS THAT CRIP HUMOR IN THIS BOOK?!
By pipes – I meant the actual plumbing in your house.
Um. Okay, I know that vomit is a corrosive, but would your pipes REALLY get damaged by someone with an eating disorder? (Snopes.com can’t confirm it.)
Charlotte Chapter! It is now January 2008! LOOK HOW SPECIFIC WE ARE.
And a recipe for “Divinity”
Baking definition of Hardball!
“crazy girls did this – the ones who wrote poetry about their organs being filled with tar, and who wore so much black eyeliner that they looked Egyptian – not good girls from good families.”
This description of people who self harm is pretty… Um… Yeah. GO READ REVIVING OPHELIA.
God, the descriptions of Willow’s body in this book are just vile.
“Don’t think I’d suddely developed a conscience or anything – I just felt bad for you”
See, THAT is what a bitter 12 year old sister would sound like.
AMELIA CHAPTER TIME!
For those of you who are confused, yes, this is a Charlotte flashback to her pregnancy with Willow.
The time theory behind Jodi Picoult would give Steven Moffat a headache.
“You’re young, you’ll have another one” – Guess what, my mother’s doctor said the SAME thing about GIVING ME UP. Those words are not a kkindness.
Oh HELL NO.
“she would have been profoundly retarded”
THAT WORD WE DO NOT USE.
Oh, lord. Now she’s going to take her pregnant ass down the street to bother the ONLY WOMAN on her street who’s ever had an abortion to ask about whether or not she should have one.
“I’ve always believed that He saves truly special babies for parents He trusts” Father Grady said.
BULL. FUCKING. SHIT. The “special snowflake” religious approach to disability is nothing short of nauseating.
“The snare drum of your kicks”
I’ve never been pregnant, but I have played a snare drum, and I fucking HOPE I don’t feel like a snare drum when pregnant.
GODWIN’S LAW, PICOULT.
“The end justifies the means” says Charlotte
“Yeah, tell that to Hitler.”
“We always said we weren’t going to let her define herself by her disability – but here you are doing just that.”
No, i think the words you’re looking for Sean are “We always said WE wouldn’t define her by her disability”
SHE gets to decide how to define herself.
AGENCY, MOTHERFUCKERS. DO YOU KEN IT?
You know… I realize that Charlotte believes her child will be incapable of things, but the phrase “I read on the internet about a girl with Type III who….” sounds like Charlotte buys into the sob stories way too easily
We begin with a Charlotte chapter.
That was a very short chapter about how Amelia feels invisible and steals Snickers bars from the CVS.
Why did that need to be in there?
Emma and Amelia are no longer friends.
SHOCKER.
Hey look! A New Chapter! AN AMELIA CHAPTER!
DUN DUN DUN. And after the dramatic exit out of the failed deposition – THE COURTS CALL BECAUSE THEY HAVE MARIN’S BIRTH MOTHER’S ADDRESS.
“You just saw first hand how this illness has ripped this family apart.”
Actually. No. What you saw was how this LAWSUIT has torn the family apart.
AND SEAN WALKS AWAY FROM THE LAWSUIT.
:”You love her, “guy repeated” so much that you think she’d be better off dead.”
I’m really enjoying these people getting TOLD that they are being assholes.
“Are you saying you’ve provided her with a good life?”
“Damn Right I have!” says Sean, obviously falling into the “Then you shouldn’t be saying you want to have your child dead?” trap.
Oy.
“No one is denying that Willow is a child with disabilities,’ Guy said, “But those disabilities don’t prevent her from having a positive educational experience, do they?”
“No.”
…. Well, that’s not true if you’re fighting with the school system daily in order to get her to get her the support she needs to HAVE a good experience.
“About how many hours a day would you say you spend with Willow?”
“Maybe twelve hours”
“Of those twelve hours, how many is she asleep?
WHY DO WE CAAAAAAAARE
The whole point of Sean having sued Ford is so that it can come up in the deposition that we have to read about.
“Piper Reece was prettier than I expected.” Because your client told you she had warts and an evil hag nose?
“Lieutenant O’Keefe, are you fully committed to this lawsuit?”
“I’m here aren’t I?”
Fuck. This had better be an interesting dep.
Also, that’s a ringing endorsement from Sean…
Charlotte didn’t tell her lawyer that she and Piper were best friends.
BAD MOVE.
Charlotte is confused as to why her daughter Amelia is a witness in the lawsuit.
Well, lady. Maybe you should have thought about that.
I do not need to read letters about Marin Gates’ adoption.
I do not.
I realize that other readers may not know what Discovery is, or for that matter, be married to a lawyer.
But why, on earth, do we have to read this. I know it’s because you researched it, but please.
BE KIND TO YOUR READERS.
THEY DON’T PAY YOU BY THE WORD.
“Charlotte spent seven hours a day waiting by the phone to ring, in case her daughter had another break.”
YOU HAVE A CELL PHONE. GET A LIFE.
*CRIES* PLEASE. NO DON’T EXPLAIN DEPOSITIONS IN OTHER LAWSUITS. DEPOSITIONS ARE BORING.
“You have never seen anything like the amount of time and dead trees that go into a civil lawsuit.”
I’m aware of this. I’m married to a lawyer. Please tell me you are not going to wax philosophic about litigation.
MARIN CHAPTER.
“Like when someone gets shot on TV but not in real life?”
WHY ARE YOU LETTING YOUR FIVE YEAR OLD WATCH TV WITH PEOPLE GETTING SHOT IN IT.
oh my fucking god. no.
“It’s a funny thing, though” I said, my voice knotting around a rope of tears. “In order for the lawyer to help us, we have to play a game.I have to say things I don’t really mean. Things that might hurt you if you heard them and didn’t know I was really just acting.”
“But it’s nothing that would ever change the way I feel about you. There’s only one Willow O’Keefe on this planet, and I was lucky enough to get her.”
YOUR LAWYER IS PRESENTLY SCREAMING INTO A BOTTLE OF SCOTCH.
“She didn’t steal a THING, like a television or a bracelet. She just didn’t tell me something that she should have. Something very important.”
You looked down at your lap.
“It was something about me, wasn’t it?”
“It was Piper.”
“Piper stole something from our house?”
“This is where it gets complicated.”
Oh, This is just…
“I broke the rules at school and the lawyer’s going to make me move out of the house” – Willow.
This conversation is not going well.
Holy Mother of G-d.
I can’t actually transcribe it all. But Charlotte’s explanation of the legal system in baby talk is just.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
“I’ll be better. I’ll be perfect.”
“Oh, Willow, honey. You ARE perfect.”
This lawsuit is going to cause SO many psychological problems.
“Well do you have something to say?”
“Please don’t get rid of me, mommy.”
This is… just… manipulative storytelling on the part of the author.
“Mom, they kept saying that because I was the littlest I had to be the baby, but I didn’t want to be the baby. I wanted to be the dad.”
“How come you didn’t want to be the mom?” Asks the teacher.
“Because moms go into the bathroom and cry and turn on the water so no one can hear them.”
CPS. CALL CPS.
So. Willow’s in trouble at school. because she was playing house with some of her classmates and they wanted her to be the baby.
“I’m NOT a baby” Willow says.
Wow, so Willow is both cognizant of the fact that she doesn’t want to be babied and is REJECTING IT.
I’d almost thing Picoult was giving her some AGENCY here
They also now have Willow in public school…. Which means she has to argue for “Every last right.” Including going to the bathroom by herself.
Oh lord. Please don’t tell me I’m going to have to read sections of the IDEA act in this book. I’VE ALREADY READ IT.
Charlotte has apparently begun compulsively lying.
A CHARLOTTE CHAPTER.
“She said she was going to have Willow no matter what.”
“Well, Dr. Reece – that sure as hell doesn’t sound like wrongful birth.”
NOPE. But this book has 200 ish more pages!
“That’s not malpractice, Piper. That’s sour grapes on the part of the parents.” Says the lawyer.
So, do we get to skip to where Willow tells us how SHE feels?
And now LOTS of medical talk.
Something I dislike about books about disability – if it’s fiction, the author still wants to medicalize EVERYTHING.
Piper’s husband “Okay, that’s ridiculous. They’re die-hard Catholics. Remember that time you and Sean started arguing about Roe v. Wade and he left the restaurant?”
So, basically these people are throwing the morals they hold dear enough to make public scenes out the window in order to get money.
YAY
“Apparently Charlotte things I should have been able to tell her earlier – because then she could have had an abortion.”
AND THE LIES BEGIN.
“How could you? Everything was fine for five years, and all of a sudden out of nowhere you slap a lawsuit on me?”
Yep. That’s about the size of it.
So, Piper just got the subpoena, and is now calling Charlotte on speed dial.
This will go well.
Ok, it is dinnertime. I’ll be back (maybe tomorrow!) with more.
Reader query: “has the titular child actually gotten to speak *at all*?”
Answer:
She occasionally chirps out adorable factoids, or asks why she can’t go swimming. But nothing from her PoV.
TRUST ME. WHEN IT HAPPENS, I’LL HAVE A FUCKING PARADE FOR AGENCY.
“My best friend was suing me for medical malpractice. For wrongful birth. For not telling her earlier about your disease, so that she would have had the chance to abort the child she’d begged me to help her conceive.”
Well, when you put it that way…. it DOES sound bitchy!
WHY DO WE NEED TO ACTUALLY READ THE SUBPOENA?
We’re on page 139, I’ve been doing this for three weeks, and we FINALLY get to the delivery of a subpoena to Piper.
FINALLY.
This woman sure knows how to move along a plot!
WHY ARE WE READING ABOUT A TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON GIVING BIRTH? Why are you creating YET ANOTHER character with a name? WHO WE WILL NEVER SEE AGAIN.
“I’ve always said that the best part of my job is that I don’t do work.”
If my OB/GYN ever says that to me and I’m the pregnant lady, remind me to RUN to a different doctor.
PIPER CHAPTER!
And Amelia just shoplifted lingerie from target.
EVERYONE IS DOING SO WELL.
Piper and Charlotte take their daughters shopping, Amelia makes a snarky comment about how they know a good lawyer.
This will end well.
Amelia is carrying around plastic ziploc bags to throw up in.
Picoult just likes to make everyone fucking miserable.
“Even though most of the styles seemed to have been made by Skanky Ho Enterprises”
Do 12 year olds say that? I can’t remember.
Wow. She actually sounds like a teenager in this chapter. her description of Legalese is BRILLIANTLY done,.
AMELIA CHAPTER. MORE WHINY GOODNESS.
Marital rape is not solved by writing a note that says ‘I’m sorry, forgive me” and leaving it next to your wife’s head while she sleeps.
SUPER GREAT.
Um. Wow. That was a super rapey gross scene.
WHY DOES NO ONE CONSULT THE ACTUAL DISABLED PERSON?
“WIll it hurt your feelings if your godmother Piper is no longer in our lives?”
“I don’t care what other people think. Willow’s opinion is the only one that counts” – says Charlotte who hasn’t actually gotten her child’s opinion on this extremely problematic lawsuit.
I believe painting “Handle with Care” (AHAHA, BOOK TITLE REFERENCE) of your child’s wheelchair is just cruel. Especially given all the bollocks notions about OI.
On the other hand, the phrase “wasn’t it better to be stillborn” is just HORRIFYING.
There’s a part of me that wants to be mad for someone saying ” How do we fix it” in relation to disability in children.
But I can’t blame them for wanting their children healthy.
We’re now to a Sean Chapter!
“I want someone who cares beyond the point of professional responsibility, I want someone who wants me to have a baby as much as I want to.” – Charlotte to Piper about wanting to conceive. Much like she handles her child, so she handles her life. it’s all about Charlotte.
PIPER CHAPTER.
Oy. The adoption story just does not end.
I am back with gin.
Livesnark temporarily disabled because of Life.
I am creeped out by the fact that the psychic (named Meshinda) has beanie babies sealed in plastic bags.
OH MY GOD. SHE’S GOING TO A PSYCHIC TO FIND HER BIRTH MOTHER.
WHAT IN THE NINE HELLS. AREN’T I READING A BOOK ABOUT HORRIBLE PARENTS AND A BULLSHIT LAWSUIT?!
Marin is talking endlessly about her adoption process and her feelings on it – noting that she was born 19 days before the Supreme Court ruled on Roe v. Wade.
Touching.
Oh my God. She is seriously writing about how Marin gets dumped by her boyfriend via FACEBOOK.
Marin the lady Lawyer Chapter!
It begins with a musing about FACEBOOK.
I really don’t need Jodi Picoult’s recipe for sweet pastry dough.
I have one already.
AND LOOK. NOW A DEFINITION FOR BLIND BAKING.
And no. That is not code for when I bake. Speaking of which, maybe I should make some bread.
… Oh god dammit. And then she knocks over her milk with her free arm and her father starts swearing.
Yep. BECAUSE THE CRIPPLE CAN’T DO ANYTHING BY HERSELF, RIGHT PICOULT?
“Stop treating me like a baby! just because I broke my shoulder doesn’t mean you have to treat me like I’m two years old!”
THANK YOU. Willow is trying to assert SOME AUTONOMY around here!
“I would settle for having someone even notice I was a member of this family.”
That’s just depressing.
This chapter is so tween emo. I can’t even.
Answer: NOPE. She just made a death row joke.
And now for another Amelia Chapter.
Wonder if she’ll sound like a 12 year old this time.
Previous conversation is OVER WILLOWS HEAD.
GREAT PARENTING GUYS!
“You didn’t answer your phone”
“My battery died”
“You could have called from the hospital.”
“You can’t actually be angry with me, Sean. I’ve been a LITTLE busy”
“Don’t you think I deserve to know if my daughter gets hurt?”
Mom takes her daughter to the hospital and forgets that her other daughter needed to be picked up from school.
HAVE THESE PEOPLE NEVER HEARD OF CELL PHONES?
“What kind of father did it make me if I refused to file a lawsuit that might net you enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life”
Well, you wouldn’t be lying, and you wouldn’t be an ableist asshole.
Sean seems to be the epittamy of Cop in this chapter. And he needs anger management classes.
“I was angry at him because you, in this situation, couldn’t have escaped.”
1) your grammar is atrocious.
2) It’s called WHEELCHAIR RACING.
“We wouldn’t be swimming for a while – out of solidarity for you, since you couldn’t go into a pool until you were out of your spica cast.” Except that he just said in the previous sentence that he snuck a dip in the pool.
SOLIDARITY.
And we begin with Sean on the job, chasing down someone with spraypaint.
Weren’t we in the middle of a story?
WE’RE BACK
and starting with Sean’s chapter!
Ok, I’m closing the book so I can prep dinner. FISH NIGHT 😀
“You’d learned early on that strangers would stare at a girl in a wheelchair. I’d taught you to smile at them, to say hello, so that they’d realize you were a person and not some curiosity of nature.”
BECAUSE WE HAVE TO EDUCATE EVERYONE WE COME ACROSS WILLOW. WE HAVE TO BE PERKY AND STRONG FOR SOCIETY. NOT GROUCHY NORMAL FREAKSHOWS WHO DON’T WANNA PLAY THE GAME.
“She was about your age, and held onto her mothers hand. She wore a pink tutu and mud boots with frog faces on them. Her head was completely bald. You did the one thing you hated most when it happened to you: You stared.”
BECAUSE SHE’S A KID. ALSO, YOU’D THINK SHE’D RUN INTO CANCER KIDS BEFORE.
They are now at the hospital because Willow broke her shoulderblade.
The doctor, who’s a young cute thing says “She’s my first OI patient I’ve had. It must be pretty wild.”
YEP. MEDICAL SAFARI.
SO GUESS WHAT. WE’RE PRETTY SURE SHE DIES AT THE END. YAAAAAAAY.
Also, I like how Charlotte talks about OI forums online, but she’s not actually using any of those resources to make her child’s life better.
It feels a bit like Picoult is just trying to make everyone feel SO SORRY for everyone, when it DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY.
“Mommy, why can’t I stay”
“We’ll talk about it later.”
Yeah, this is really fucking shitty. It makes me want to stab one of these teachers for not being kind to the CHILD and not forcing her out of school. You’d think they’d HAVE A CONVERSATION before inflicting this.
The school is now trying to keep Willow out of preschool for liability reasons.
“Look at it from our point of view. Next year, when Willow’s in kindergarten, she’ll have a full-time aide. We don’t have that resource here.”
REMEMBER, THIS IS A LIVESNARK REVIEW. WE ENDORSE ALL SNARKITUDE WHEN APPROPRIATE IN THE BOOK.
Classmate asks Willow how she pees in the spica cast.
Willow: I don’t, I haven’t gone in four months, Derek. So you’d better watch out ’cause I could blow like a volcano any minute.”
(ATTA GIRL!)
“Willow” I murmured “no need to be snarky.”
YES. YES THERE IS. SHAME HIM INTO NOT BEING A JERK.
You know, this mom is all “GEEZ IT’S SO HARD BEING THE PARENT OF A DISABLED CHILD” and all “I AM TIGER MOMMY IN THE HOSPITAL” but I think she’s forgetting the vital step of HELPING HER KID SOCIALIZE>
“Kelsey had her birhday party last weekend – she saved a goody bag for Willow. We would have invited her but, well, it was at the Gymnastics Hut, and I figured she might feel left out.”
Charlotte’s response thought: As opposed to not being invited?
THIS IS WHEN YOU CALL THE PARENT OUT ON THEIR BULLSHIT.
“You didn’t have many friends – children were either frightened by your wheelchair and walker, or, oddly jealous of the casts that you’d come to school wearing.”
Those aren’t reasons to not have friends. Those are reasons you talk to the teacher and the parents about how to socialize THEIR children.
GOD THIS WOMAN AND HER PARENTING SKILLS I CAN’T EVEN.
So after two pages of “these are all the breaks you’ve ever lived through” we find out that Willow is going back to preschool!
THEY’RE LETTING HER OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!!
And the first sentences of this chapter are yet another litany of the breaks that Willow has lived through. Charlotte is real obsessed with the breaks, and not so thoughtful about her child’s fucking emotions.
And now Charlotte again.
THIS IS A TEST. WILL THERE BE ANY PERSONAL AGENCY OF A DISABLED CHARACTER IN THIS BOOK OR WILL SHE REMAIN A PROP THAT PEOPLE TALK TO/ABOUT?
“Could something that looks so wrong from the outside turn out to be undeniably right?”
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Being disabled costs money, oh yes yes it does. But many people with disabilities do go to college (and have troubles.) BUT SERIOUSLY PEOPLE.
The rationalization for why they should do the lawsuit is just STUNNING ableist bullshit.
“You know what I love about you? You make me look SO good in comparison.”
THAT RIGHT THERE is a loving marriage, folks. OBVIOUSLY.
Yep. Daughter #1 is telling dad NOT TO LOOK while she pees (exploitative creepiness again.) And Daughter #2 is watching food burn in the kitchen and is using his poker chips for a school project involving a hot glue gun.
DAD’S CAN’T BE RESPONSIBLE, GUYS. THEIR TESTOSTERONE WON’T LET THEM.
AND WE’RE OFF TO THE BATHROOM IN A SPICA AGAIN.
Oh look, now the dad is being proved incompetent because DAD’S CAN’T BE GOOD PARENTS.
AWESOME GENDER NONSENSE, PICOULT.
“Are you saying I can’t provide for my kid?” I said, my voice escalating.
Suddenly, all the bluster went out of Charlotte.
“Oh, Sean. You’re the best father. But – you’re not a mother.”
BUUUUUUUUUUUURN. GENDER NORMATIVITY BUUUUUUUUUURN.
“How come you were perfectly willing to sue Disney World and half of the Public service system in Florida for cash? What’s the difference here?”
I dont know, BECAUSE YOU’RE GOING TO TELL YOUR DAUGHTER HER LIFE ISN’T WORTH LIVING?
“I’d listen to a blue-haired old lady tell me she was praying for you and I’d smile and say thanks, but inside I was ticked off.”
I really wish that WIllow could say this for herself instead of her DAD being ticked off for her.
“One reason I didn’t like going to church was the stares. Pity and piety were a little too close together.”
Again, Sean is actually the rational person in this family. He is frustrated for the RIGHT reasons.
And now Sean waxes philosophical about the crime in sleepy friendly looking New England towns.
Yaaaaaawn.
Sean’s chapter!
“She knows that’s not the truth, ” she said ” I could never imagine my life without her in it.”
So, you’re trusting Willow to understand that you’re LYING IN COURT TO GET MONEY.
Your values, madam, are STUNNING.
I’m not trying to minimize adoption here, but I also know plenty of adopted people who wouldn’t make that comparison.
“It was probable that, by the time tis lawsuit got to court, you would be old enough to fully understand the ramifications of what your mother was doing – just like I had, one day, when I was told about my adoption.”
Um. I think there’s a difference here. Your parents chose to give you up and give you a better life. Willows mother is saying on court record that she wouldn’t have HAD Willow.
“You mean people will think I’m in it for the money?”
“Well,” I said simply “Aren’t you?”
Charlotte’s eyes welled with tears “I’m in it for Willow.”
EXCEPT THAT SHE’S GOING TO THINK YOU DON’T WANT HER. THIS IS NOT ABOUT WILLOW.
I don’t think anyone is reading this book to learn about the nitty gritty of litigation. Seriously. I did not need this lesson. I’m married to a lawyer.
The beginning of this chapter is about how Marin Gates has represented people in stupid lawsuits before, and how they turned out.
TOO MUCH EXPOSITION.
LADY LAWYER CHAPTER.
“to me it didn’t look like a happy family. It was a circus freak show, minus the big top. Why else would be in a magazine. Normal families didn’t make the news.”
I’m just going to leave this quote here.
“But if you could break a bone coughing, how owuld you ever get a baby ot of you, or a you-know-what IN?”
I’ll be over here. Swearing.
I like how these two girls just found a picture of a woman with OI holding a baby in a magazine, and are now talking about Willow can’t have babies.
Because that’s what 9 year olds know about and talk about.
Amelia chapter! Time for badly written child time!
“It’s the luck of the draw. You know what an obstetrician would say if a couple had a newborn with CF? ‘oh, they got a bad baby.’ It’s not a judgement call, it’s just a statement of fact”
Man, Piper is one stone cold bitch for saying that to her friend.
“I think it’s human nature that those of us who are married cannot rest easy until we find mates for our single friends.”
I SLEEP JUST FINE.
Also, did I mention we’re in a Piper chapter now?
Because we are.
“This isn’t our first year with the Nazi Skating Club.”
HA HA HA. BECAUSE NAZIS AND ICE SKATING UNIFORMS ARE THE SAAAAAME.
#NaziBingo
This book is like a How To Guide for RUINING your relationship with your child, your best friend AND wrecking your marriage.
And now she’s decided to lie to her husband about the fact that she’s planning to take legal action.
GREAT ADULTING.
“It won’t affect her ” a voice in my head murmured “That’s what malpractice insurance is for.”
LIES. YOU ARE LYING TO YOURSELF ABOUT EVERYTHING FOR GREEEEEEED.
“But even if I came to terms with the moral conundrum, the additional wrindle here was that the person on the other end of the lawsuit was not a stranger – she was my best friend.”
So. you’re going to sue your best friend and your only source of support?
TAKING A BREAK TO HELP A FRIEND WHILE I STRUGGLE TO CONTINUE THIS NONSENSE.
HAHAHAHAHA. I don’t have words.
“Either the kind of mother who didn’t love her daughter at all…. or the kind of mother who loved her daughter too much.”
YEP. TRY EXPLAINING THAT TO YOUR SIX YEAR OLD.
“what kind of mother would stand up in front of a judge and jury, and announce that she wished her child had never exisisted?” Charlotte is thinking.
Which means she’ll probably ignore herself.
“I have one word for you: Lysistrata” – Piper.
YES. because reducing your child’s medical decisions to “I won’t have sex with you until you agree to a surgery for our child” is TOTALLY HEALTHY.
“What if she doesn’t have any more femur breaks” sounds like the crackdream of parenting. I thought the dad was the SANE parent here.
One of the OI reviews of this book suggested that the timing of rodding in this book was incorrect. So. Yeah, I’m gonna go with that.
“This was – no pun intended – a bone of contention for Sean and me. Your orthopedic surgeon wanted to rod your femurs after you were out of your spica cast.”
HAR DE HAR HAR JODI. Bet she giggled her way through that line!
“The nice part about your being kept overnight in the hospital was that i didn’t have to worry whether you’d end up there, courtesy of a slip in the tub or an arm hooked on the sleeve of your jacket.”
I… Think that’s a pretty creepy way to put that. I mean that’s the equivalent of “it’d be nice if at home I could just strap you to a bed so you’d never move again.”
“Pamidronate wasn’t a cure for OI, just a treatment – one that made it possible for Type IIIs like you to walk at all, instead of being wheelchair-bound”
You just really like using problematic disability language in your books, don’t you Jodi?
“Sean was the risk taker when it came to you. Then again, he wasn’t the one who was home most often when you had a break. But he’d spent years convicing me that a few casts were a small price to pay for a real life ; maybe now I could convince him that two silly words like ‘wrongful birth’ meant nothing when compared to the future they might secure for you.”
Except that you’re never going to LET HER LEAVE THE HOUSE.
aaaand ANOTHER Charlotte chapter. I’m convinced we’re never going to hear from Willow at this point.
AGENCY WOULD BE NICE.
OH LOOK. ANOTHER PASTRY LESSON IN THIS FUCKING NEARLY 400 PAGE BOOK,.
“you’re saying my daughter never should have been born?’ he accused :That she was a MISTAKE? I’m not listening to this bullshit”
Well at least the father has SOME sense.
“Wait a second” {Sean} said “What kind of lawsuit is this?”
Ramirez glanced at you.
“it’s called wrongful birth.”
“And what the hell does that mean?”
Well, as the nice lady lawyer just told you, it means tat you would have had choices as to whether or not you would continue with the pregnancy.
Yes, I am frothing at the mouth over this scene.
Also in case you missed it, I’m very pro choice, I’m just also very anti-people saying that disabled people can’t have lovely happy lives.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT, I WRITE ABOUT PRO CHOICE RHETORIC AND DISABILITY A LOT.
“We thought it would be better to discuss this without Willow in the room.”
Says the lawyer.
No Shit, if this is about the wrongful birth case, I wouldn’t want to hear someone telling my parents they could get money if they told people they’d have never let me be born either.
And another description of what it’s like to pee in a spica cast. On the one hand, this depicts what it’s probably like to deal with spica casts. On the other, we already got one description and this is trending towards exploitative sick lit.
“But you ewre not the kind of child I could let fly in the world. After all, what if you fell?”
I KNOW IT’S HARD, CHARLOTTE. BUT SHE’S NOT GONNA WANT TO BE BABIED FOREVER.
“I would listen to people complain about their kids being impolite or surly or even getting into trouble with the law, and I’d be jealous. When those kids turned eighteen, they’d be on their own, making their own mistakes and being held accountable.”
So, you don’t intend to help her figure out how to function outside your maternal bubble?
Back to Charlotte’s perspective.
“What if it were someone’s fault?”
Woah. Woah. Are we really going to PURSUE the bullshit wrongful birth suit? ARE WE?
I put my hand on Charlotte’s arm “Just so you know,” I said firmly. “You’re the most devoted mother I’ve ever met. You’ve given up your whole life to take care of Willow.”
To me, that sounds like the WORST way to manage life with a disabled child. It’s called having a life so you don’t burn out and treat everyone like shit.
OH WAIT.
“You know what” Charlotte said “I really don’t care about the problems you’re having with your daughter.”
Well that’s a bitchy way to treat your friend. Even if you are having a shitty week/month
We’re BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK. I suck at continuing this because the book is LONG.
Ok, stopping for the afternoon, more TOMORROW>
“Sometimes when I looked at you, I didn’t see the compromised twist of your bones or the short stature that came part and parcel with your illness. Instead I remembered your mother crying when she told me that she had failed to get pregnant yet another month.”
Wouldn’t it be nice if you didn’t see the disability but just the person ALL of the time?
And now it’s PIPER’s turn at the narrator wheel!
Seriously. Does this kid ever get to speak for herself?
Oh, I see. She doesn’t like wrongful birth because her mother might have aborted her.
Except that she’s not disabled, so that doesn’t make a WHOLE lot of sense.
I LOVE the lady lawyer. She is sooo snarky and so very against the idea of wrongful birth suits.
But of course because she’s a WOMAN and her lawyer boss is a MAN she is just getting dismissed.
“In New Hampshire, parents of disabled children were responsible for them for their whole lives, not just until they were eighteen.”
Is that a law? Because I’m disabled and I do not rely on my mother for money anymore.
ANYONE?
Ok, she just wrote the phrase “Profoundly retarded” and “Wheelchair bound.”
Someone didn’t do her vocabulary research!
“Many states had banned wrongful birth suits”
YEAH. FOR GOOD REASON. ALSO. HEY GUYS. MOST JUDGES WON’T EVEN FUCKING CONSIDER THEM.
MY LIFE IS WORTH LIVING YOU PIECE OF SHIT PLOTLINE.
“For the defense, it’s a morality question: who has the right to decide what kind of life is too limited to be worth living?”
I HAVE AN ANSWER FOR YOU.
THE PERSON WITH THE DISABILITY.
The blame is placed on the Ob/Gyn for “the child’s subsequent disability.”
So. You’re not going to blame, I don’t know, NATURE?
So, the book explains it. But so will I. You don’t know what a wrongful birth suit is?
“A wrongful birth lawsuit implies that, if the mother had known during her pregnancy that her child was going to be significantly impaired, she would have chosen to abort the fetus.”
We all know I’m pro choice.
We also all know that when the pro-choice people use DISABLED BABIES as a reason we NEEEEED abortion, I START GETTING HULK-Y
“Will you say that,” Bob mused “If we wind up with the biggest wrongful birth payout in New Hampshire.”
Yep. Wrongful birth. FUCK EVERYTHING.
OH. YAY. I LIKE HER.
“For the record, this kind of lawsuit is completely unpalatable to me.”
So the woman who is described as dislikeable is THE SANE ONE?
I get that this lady is going to be an important part of the story. But do we really need FIVE pages of her life history?
Don’t we have ENOUGH personal histories going on here, plus the pastry recipes?
“since I was five I had known I had been adopted, which is a politically correct way of saying I had no clue about my origins.”
That’s… a really bitchy way of describing adoption.
OH LOOK. Now it’s the lady Lawyer’s turn for a narrative chapter. Her name is Marin.
Everyone is talking ABOUT willow but she doesn’t get a voice.
What the fuck is this shit.
Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. This IS going to be a wrongful birth trial plot isn’t it.
“I always knew there was a reason.”
Oh look. painting your daughter as a saint and that’s why she’s disabled? AWESOME>
“Do you know what it was like, for me, for my kids?”
“I’m sure it was nothing compared to the emotional burden of living day in and day out with a child who has these particular health problems.”
THERE IT IS. I’ll be over here being nauseated now. Because if this turns into a book about fucking wrongful birth lawsuits…
And now. We’re in the lawyers office.
I can’t WAIT to see how THIS plays out.
And we’re back to a Daddypants chapter!
We finally have a nice heartwarming scene where Mom & daughter put Willow into a chair and push her around on the pond covered in ice so she can ice skate.
How nice that they never thought of including her before.
So, this mom with 2 children totally forgot that her elder daughter had ice skating practice. It “wasn’t even on the totem pole.”
Class act, this mom. It’s as if her older child doesn’t have needs!
“And there you were, already past the pity party”
BECAUSE AT THE AGE OF FIVE SHE’S PROBABLY PRETTY DAMN USED TO IT BY NOW.
“As if you would ever travel unimpeded, as if you would ever take a vacation without remembering this one.”
Her options are to cling to you like a barnacle, or figure out how to cope.
I can see which one YOU want her to pick.
This mom might be totally jaded and “woe is me” and weird about her child’s disability.
But at least she knows what’s what when it comes to how helping people makes others feel good ABOUT THEMSELVES
“People ask me all the time how I’m doing but the truth is they don’t really want to know”
First thing she’s said that I can see as ENTIRELY true and not shaming.
I mean, maybe they DO do that, but if they do that’s HORRIFYING.
I can’t imagine that the hospital just sent her out with her privates showing to the world.
So, the description of a Spica Cast is pretty horrific. But what bothers me about it is how very pornographic it feels. and she’s writing about a CHILD. “but they covered up your crotch, which was left wide open by the position of the cast.”
New Chapter! This one narrated by MOM/
“it was a game we played, whenever there was a break – I offered you a pain scale, you showed me how brave you were.”
You know, I get that when there’s going to be a LOT of breaks you want your kid to be able to get through it.
But seriously. “Show me how brave you are” is just nauseating.
“how much would this lousy attempt at a vacation scar you both?”
At least as much as MY trip to disneyland scarred me?
“I wanted to make sure you grew up blissfully naieve” –
that’s a shitty way to parent. Not knowing about awful things, sure? But you want your kid to be at least a LITTLE savvy, right?
Jodi Picoult has this word that she uses – “Unarrest.” As if the police can just wave a magic wand and say “OOPS WE WERE WRONG.”
I don’t think that’s how it works….
I think I am going to stop for the morning, get some other work done, and then maybe come back to this later today!
HEY LOOK! New chapter, new narrator. NOW we get to hear from Daddypants Sean! (Who’s obviously a cop)
Because it couldn’t just be a book about a family with a younger daughter with OI, the older daughter HAS to have problems too!
Oh look, now the 12 year old is starting to be bulemic in the foster home she’s been dropped off in for the night.
Her sister now understands why Willow doesn’t cry when her bones break. “Because there are some kinds of pain you couldn’t speak out loud”
YOU MEAN THE PAIN I’M IN RIGHT NOW? BECAUSE I’M SCREAMING. AT THE BOOK.
I think Picoult is incapable of writing likeable characters.
I’m going to get a snack. This makes me want to throw things.
OH MY FUCKING GOD. The sister is now talking to a CPS representative and acting like her parents are abusive.
JODI PICOULT THIS IS NOT FUCKING APPROPRIATE.
Also, Amelia is a little snot for doing this.
Oh for fucks sake. Really? “we have some concerns about the injuries to Willow.”
… Oh no. Please don’t tell me we’re about to go into a scenario of “OH GOD THEY THINK WE ABUSE OUR CHILD.”
If ever you see me with a broken bone and I’m not crying, please assume that I am in a severe state of shock and don’t commend me for my DISBRAVERY (a compound word meaning disabled bravery)
SHE DIDN’T EVEN CRY WHEN HER ARM BONES BROKE THROUGH THE SKIN.
SO BRAVE.
SO INSPIRING.
This message brought to you by Picoult Vision.
LOOKIT HOW BRAVE AND SMART SHE IS EVEN THOUGH HER BONES BREAK ALL THE TIME. ISN’T IT INSPIRING?
“you weren’t crying – you hardly ever did when you broke something.”
So. Um. Basically she’s just trying to be the hero so that you all don’t feel shitty.
YEP. I GOT YOUR NUMBER PICOULT. HERO COMPLEX.
And then Willow slips and falls at Disneyland (we haven’t even been there for more than a paragraph.) AND BREAKS HER LEG.
I am already feeling like the mom is just a terrible fucking mother. Amelia just described her as unsure of what to do without Willow by her side.
HELICOPTER PARENT MUCH?
“your brain got used more than your body”
Yes. And my kinesthetic spatial sense gets used more than my eyes. THAT DOES NOT MEAN I HAVE MAGICAL POWERS OF FEELING.
Let’s take a moment to review that disability does not make everyone SUPER SPECIALPANTS.
“Mom said lots of kids with OI are early readers with advanced verbal skills”!
Hey look! IT’S A GENERALIZATION. OI HAS NO IMPACT ON BRAINS DUMBASS.
“It freaked people out to meet a five year old who knows that toilets flush in the key of E flat”
I’m disabled. I DIDN’T KNOW THAT. Are you disabled, DID YOU KNOW THAT? WHY DIDN’T I GET THE USELESS FACTS MEMO?
Oh god. Willow is OBSESSED WITH FACTS. Because all disabled people MUST BE BRILLIANT.
“Our family isn’t the same as other families, and it never will be. Case in Point: What family packs a whole extra suitcase full of ace bandages and waterproof casts just in case?”
So. I’m guessing that your parents are 1) paranoid motherfuckers and 2) that you have not interfaced with the disability community at ALL.
Ah. she’s TWELVE. Clearly that makes her a reasonable human being.
Oo, Amelia’s martrying herself because she has it worse than her sister because her sister makes her feel bad about herself when she’s mad.
IT’S AN OUROBOROS OF DISABILITY HATE.
(Reader comment: “I told you! Meel! If they spell it that way the girl will be less suspicious”)
And now she’s talking about how strangers feel sorry for her sister and not for HER.
I’ve never been the able bodied sibling of a disabled kid. But I have been disabled my entire life. Guess what? I HATE YOUR PITY.
Meel is the worst nickname ever for Amelia.
A narrative question: How come Amelia is all introspective? Isn’t she supposed to be.. 9 or somethng? “Ah see, there’s something else that I’m jealous about” does not sound like the inner thoughts of a 9 year old.
Amelia is SO excited that she gets to go to Disney World with her family, but sad she can only go on the BABY rides because her sister has OI.
Way to set up massive sibling rivalry by not offering to take one daughter on ALL the rides and send the other parent with Willow so she can have fun without her sister BITCHING AND MOANING.
Hang on a tic –
Why have I heard from the mom and the sister? WHERE’S WILLOW’S VOICE? Does she get one in this book?
ODDS ARE NOT.
Aaand it begins with the sister bitching about how she’s never been on vacation.
Apparently that’s just the SECTION header. Ok, this is part one, chapter one.
Narrated by, Amelia. The sister.
Yeah. There’s a full blown recipe here.
I don’t think anyone reads Picoult for the random recipes!
CHAPTER 1:
… Why am I suddenly reading a baking lesson in tempering? I know Jodi Picoult likes to be FAAAANCY, but really?
Ok. We are done with the prologue.
I already hate most of the characters in this book.
Wow. SOMEONE JUST TALKED SENSE. Mom says “is this going to be the rest of my life” and her best friend (and her obstetrician? ETHICS VIOLATION MUCH?) says “Not your life, Piper. Willow’s.”
BECAUSE YES. IT IS WILLOW’S LIFE AND WILLOW’S EXPERIENCE.
WOW. We just compared a resident who suggested that they consider a DNR to NAZI.
GODWIN’S LAW.
The medical drama is just so nauseating.
Again with the nurses. Seriously. A night nurse comes in to change a diaper, mom gets super protective (Don’t blame her on this one) and THE NURSE NEARLY KILLS THE BABY.
I feel like medical professionals would attempt to NOT KILL THE BABY.
“What’s wrong with her eyes” begins a STUNNING description of what sounds like my cataracts to me, but is apparently a description of what the eyes of a person with OI looks like.
ELECTRIC BLUE EYES.
After a google image search, I cannot find a SINGLE piece of evidence to back up Ms. Picoult.
“How come she’s dressed like a mummy?” says Amelia, Willow’s brand new big sister “Those are ribbons. Gift wrappings.”
SERIOUSLY? YOU’RE JUST ASKING FOR TROUBLE BY NOT TELLING YOUR CHILD WHAT’S UP WITH HER SIBLING.
BANDAGES ARE NOT GIFT WRAPPINGS. THEY’RE BANDAGES.
“Charlotte” Piper said “She won’t break.”
LIES AND TREACHERY.
A reader just answered my question “Because they secretly want to eat their young.”
This is unrelated, but why do people always describe babies with food metaphors?
I like how the description of the baby begins with all the things that would be wrong, and mark the child as having OI, and then it says “BUT EVEN WITH YOUR BANDAGES YOU LOOKED FLAWLESS.”
ANd now for the medical text parsed into fiction section! LET JODI PICOULT EDUCATE YOU ABOUT A RARE CONDITION.
GREAT NEWS. Your child has 7 healing fractures and FOUR new ones, but she’s BREATHING.
Naming your child essentially because of their disability seems like a BAD PLAN. I mean, come on, who would name their blind son Oedipus?
… AND THEN THEY NAME HER WILLOW. “I wanted to give you a prophecy to carry with you, a tree that bends instead of breaking”
OH LOOK WE’VE GOT A WHOLE LIST OF WHAT PERFECT BABIES ARE AND WHAT THIS BABY ISN’T.
“Until the moment I heard you cry, I had been worried I wouldn’t know how to love you”
I’m just going to leave this line here while I knock my head against the desk for a second.
I’ve had a broken bone before. Pretty sure it doesn’t sound like a “burst bubble”.
Again with the metaphor. Sigh.
Oh, and P.S. I’m glad that the librarians who follow this blog are sending me emails saying they’re enjoying this.
I know you hate Picoult. ENJOY. THIS IS FOR YOU.
I’m sorry, You’d think they’d have a chat before this point.
So. The surgeon didn’t prep the OR nurses on how to hold a baby with OI? The doctor does that while the nurse is holding the baby? This is ENTIRELY so the reader gets to see the nurse BREAK THE BABY’S BONES.
“They lifted you out as though you were made of spun sugar.”
….
Oh look, we’re referring to the OI bones as “fiddleheads” because clearly that’s poetic, saying the bones look like ferns.
That doesn’t even make SENSE.
Oh my god. She’s staring at the crack in the window to focus herself away from the contractions.
YEP. WE REALLY ARE INTO OUR BREAKING METAPHORS.
Mom is terrified to give birth to her child (it has not yet been revealed by the narrator that the baby has osteogenesis imperfecta, but I’m clueing you in because ALL THE METAPHOR) because the baby is safer inside of her than outside of her
… And then the window gets broken by hail (and the Mom watches the spiderweb cracks in the window grow) JUST AS HER WATER BREAKS.
Because OBVIOUSLY THAT’S HOW WE’RE GOING TO DO THIS.
Seriously? During a storm. Sorry I’m harping on this. Its just… SO PEDESTRIAN. Oo, being disabled means your birth is heralded by THUNDER.
OOoo. The disabled baby was born during a STORM you say?
That’s… painfully cliche. Jesus.
Prologue –
We begin with the mother’s narration, a list of things that break introduces us to the idea that this novel will be about breaking.
Of course, we have to go with the poetry about the disability which features in this novel in order to REALLY get people interested.
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